Twice as many moments: The rest of the day

Well, it's done. The pacifiers are gone.

There was no nap today, though not for lack of trying. There were fewer tears than I anticipated and both girls were very strong and brave about the whole thing, even when they were exhausted in the later part of the day from not taking a nap.

Decorating the package for the pacifiers.

We wrote a few little notes to include in the package, dictated by the girls.

Lots of tape.

Putting the box out on the porch for the mail.

They both dealt with the change in their own way. Ella didn't mention it with words at all, just with disappointed looks when she came back from checking her bedroom for pacifiers (this happened multiple times throughout the day, mostly at transition times) as she is so used to doing for a little down time. Maya was more vocal about her disappointment, letting us know that, "If I don't have my pacifier, I won't go to sleep!" and "I want my pacifier RIGHT NOW!!" When the loud demands and threats didn't work, she experimented with sucking on her fingers and thumb, though I don't think it was very satisfying for her.

Bedtime was early, but took a while. Brett read a lot of books while the girls flopped around on their beds and couldn't settle in their overtired state. The books did seem to calm Ella some, but I think it was hard for her with her sister's constant movement nearby. I lay with them after that and they both nursed a little. Maya fell asleep first, finally becoming so tired that she just flumped down on her pillow (which she'd moved to the end of the bed) and that was it. I hummed to Ella for a while after that and kept reminding her to lay still and she finally did.

I'm taking the whole thing as hard as they are. It's just so sad to see them struggle. I love that the pacifiers gave them so much comfort, and taking them away feels awful to me in that respect. I am trying to remind myself that it's for the best and that in the long run it's such a little thing. But in the moment, it feels like we are doing such a terrible thing, taking away a little kids' comfort.

Maybe tomorrow will be easier.