Month in Moments

It's been a rough few weeks, with lots of little happy and fun moments thrown in here and there. We all had a cold, followed by another cold, or maybe it was the same one that just changed and lingered. I had it the worst and am only now starting to feel mostly all better.

The stress with our Springfield house and horrible-rotten-no-good non-paying tenants continues, but it will hopefully be over by the end of the month when (fingers crossed) they finally move, we pay them lots of money, hope many bad things happen to them in the future, and that we never ever have to see them again. It is very likely that we will be selling the Springfield house in the near future.

Brett had a birthday! We all weren't feeling especially well, but we had some tasty apple cake, Brett's parents and Guy came over, and Brett had a really nice day. Kathy and the girls planted some bulbs in the backyard and we're all looking forward to seeing them come up in the spring.

Timmy left for Arizona a few weeks ago and we miss him. We loved having him around and I hope whatever he decides to do next will bring him back to visit us again soon!

Selena came home from her month-long-cross-country-motorcycle-trip with Brian! We were delighted to see her. She was home for a few days and then left again for Minnesota. We are all looking forward to her return!

 

Can you find Maya?

Ella's disappearing act.

Quotes from Maya:

"I said 'I like you' to Ella, and she said 'I like you' to me!"

Me: "Wow, you girls are pretty good at that!" (using glitter paint)
Maya: "I'm awesome... like Dada."

"When I get older, I want to do something important. But, what could I do? ... I know! I could dig carrots from the garden! And potatoes!"

"You sound like a frog." (about my coughing)

Maya: "Here, Mama." (holds out her finger to me)
Me: "What is it?"
Maya: "A booger."

"Mama! I dreamed about Grandma Kathy! She was playing in the rain with me and we collected leaves for you while you were out. And pretty flowers!"  (so excited to tell me about her dream first thing after climbing into our bed in the morning)

Me: "Your eyes remind me of the ocean."
Maya: "Your eyes remind me of the playground."

Me: "What did you wish for?"
Maya: "Blueberry, raspberry, blackberry pie!"

"I want to be able to see her eyes and nose..... I found a way!" (almost getting frustrated, but saving it, while putting a hat on a stuffed animal)

"Mama, will you help me to unside this out?" (about an inside-out shirt)

"It tastes like Mama milk, only not as sweet." (Maya's description of half and half)

"But I can't move them, I'm too little, they might sharp me!" (about the pruning clippers)

Quotes from Ella:

"It's stuck in my head. Right here, under my hair." (about a song)

"I realized something. See? Look at my face, I look realized!"

"You gave me a hug! I was thoughting about one!"

Me: "Lets give big waves goodbye!"
Ella: "But, I have a little hand, so, I will do little waves."

"Mmrrhh! She sweepted me an I fell down! Maya, that was not really appropriate to me." (overheard from the other room, while the girls were both using brooms to sweep the "floor")

"Dizzy means, to fall down."

"You're making macaroni and cheese with a bunny on it!! I'm so excited! Yay me!" (Ella really loves Annie's mac and cheese)

"It made me 'yes'. Like this, with my head." (Ella's description of going over a big bump while riding in the car)

"Do you want to drink the last verse of this?" (offering me the rest of her juice)

"It smells like snow!" (sniffing the crisp fall air)

Quotes from some or all of us:

Ella: "I see a scary thing!!"
Maya: "It's me."
Ella: "Oh. I didn't realize."

Maya: "I have a really good idea. You can carry the basket on the way back."
Ella: "No. I have a really good idea. We can carry it together, now."
Maya: "Okay."
(Ella, standing up for herself)

Brett: "Maya and Ella, please clear your plates."
Me: "Oh, you'd better clear them fast... before I do it...!"
Ella: (runs to the table to clear her plate)
Maya: "That's okay. I don't want to do it."

Maya: "You know, I love potatoes."
Ella: "But not me!"

Country Roads

Maya and Ella's newest favorite song is, "Take Me Home, Country Roads" by John Denver. It is included in this session of HooteNanny. Pretty much since we got the new CD, it has been on constant repeat, track 9 just plays over and over and over.

On Sunday, we went up to NH to see Brett's Grandma Mary and Grandpa Val. We gave them hugs and kisses and the cards that Maya and Ella had drawn for them. Brett juggled for his Grandpa. The girls were very shy while we were visiting, but Mary offered them her cupcake, which they happily ate. 

Country Roads was on repeat the whole drive home.

Brett with his grandmother.

Eating the cupcake outside. It was such a beautiful Fall day.

Some quotes from Ella...

"You know what I say? When clothes miss, we can always find them!"

"Mmmrrh!! It doesn't fit me!" (while trying to squeeze into a chair that is pushed all the way into the table)

"Sometimes while I'm falling asleep, I tell a story in my head." 

"Old people have white hair!" (an observation while visiting her great-grandparents)

"I have a REALLY good idea!! We could send her some butter as a treat!! That would be a great present!" (while talking about Amber's birthday)

Ella: "Timmy, what is your mama and dada named?"
Timmy: "Mama and Papa!"
Me: "Ella, did you know that Timmy's mama and dada are also my mama and dada - Grandma and Papa!"
Ella: "Hmm... interesting!"

"It fit just lovely in my mouth!" (about a big piece of watermelon)

Some quotes from Maya...

"I really liked going to see your grandparents, Dada." (to Brett on the drive home from our visit)
 
It was hot in the car on the drive home from NH, and Maya really wanted to take all of her clothes off... 
Me: "But, we will be at the Co-op soon, and you have to wear clothes to go in there." 
Maya: "Why?"

Listening to a song: 
Maya: "The train is glory bound... What does that mean?" 
Brett: "Hm... it's kind of difficult to explain... it means it's going.. umm..."
Maya: "...To Papa and Grandma's house?"

Searching for pinky dog:
Me: "Think about when you last had her, that might help us in our search."
Maya: "I had her a couple whiles ago... a few nights ago I had her... I had her when I was born."

Maya: "I'm a baby frog. I want to nurse."
Me: "Well, baby frogs don't nurse their Mama's." 
Maya: "Well, this one does, because I'm really a girl pretending to be a baby frog."

Me: "Aren't you going to eat your lunch?"
Maya: "No."
Me: "Before your nap I thought you said you were hungry!"
Maya: "But, my body is only hungry for cupcakes!"

After a day and a half of a fever, pretty much just resting, feeling miserable, and not saying more than two words, Maya woke up from a morning nap and announced: "I want a snack and then I want to play with play-doh!"

"Know what I call elephants? Elephanties!"

Brett: "Maya, please clear your plate if you're done."
Maya: "I'm baby octopus."

Quotes from some or all of us...

M: "I'm going to wear the red shoes!"
E: "But I want to wear the red shoes!"
Me: "Aw, I know you love the red shoes. How about the pink flashy shoes this time?"
E: "No! I want the red shoes!"
Me: "Maybe you could each wear one red shoe and one pink flashy shoe, you could be mis-matched!"
E: "Okay!"
M: "No. I don't want to."
E: "She said she doesn't want to! Waahh!"
M: <takes off one shoe and pushes it toward her sister>
Me: "Oh, look, she seems to have changed her mind! Now you can be mis-matched."
E: "No! I don't want to. It's too late for me."

Playing airplane together:
E: "I'm going to sit here (on the couch) in this seat. This is the airplane."
M: "Well, that plane is too 'spensive (sits on the floor), so i'm going on a different airplane."

Brett: "Who wants pancakes for breakfast?"
M: "I want strawberry pancakes!"
E: "I want raspberry pancakes!"
Brett: "But, I was thinking of making coconut chocolate chip pancakes..."
M: "Well, I could change my mind!"

Maya gets worried about trucks. The loud noises that they make when they drive by scare her. Even when we're inside she will often run to me and cling if she hears a loud truck driving by...
Me: "Don't worry Maya, the truck can't drive in our house, so we're safe."
Ella, after thinking for a moment, adds her own reassurance: "Yeah, 'cuz, we closed the door."

At their play kitchen:

E: "Are you making soup?"

M: "No, I'm making tea for Dada's grandparents, because they are old and sick."

E: "Oh! Can I help?"

M: "Yes. Hey... we can make tea together!!"
E: "Okay!"

Fall

A few moments from our first real leaf playing day. While we were outside, Maya kept saying, "I love fall!!" 

Swimming, drawing, and a chore chart

I had a really nice day with Maya and Ella. Brett left early this morning for the Pedal People retreat. He will be back Sunday evening. It was so hot today, and after getting some ice cream at the little place in Florence, we went swimming in the river for a long time. Both girls are getting more and more comfortable with the water. They've been walking out to where the water is almost too deep, then turning around and heading back to the shore, putting their hands down when the water gets shallow enough that they can reach and pointing their legs out behind them. Great practice for being able to swim on their own!

While playing in the water today:

Ella: "I'm a crab."
Me: "Oh, you look tasty. Can I eat you?"
Ella: "No. I'm not edible."

Maya can suddenly draw a face/person! It's only been for the past week or so that this has been happening. Before then when the girls did drawings they didn't resemble much of anything. It's amazing how milestones like this just happen when you aren't expecting it. Maya is really proud of herself.

One of Maya's first drawings. She said it's, "A picture of Mama, with Ella inside her tummy!"

On a not-so-fun note, I've been really annoyed at Maya's tendency to throw things when she's upset. This isn't something new. She's had this sort of reaction for a while. I wish I knew the best thing to do to help her change it. This evening she threw her bowl of yogurt on the floor (and it got all over, including on my skirt) because she came into the kitchen, climbed up to her chair, and noticed I hadn't gotten her a spoon yet. I had it in my hand about to give to her. I could see that she felt bad and embarrassed for what she had done, and I know she was tired (which is when this sort of behavior usually happens) but, gosh. I told her she had to wipe up the yogurt, and explained that what she did really upset me (I was pretty much in tears, I was tired too) for several reasons. She did wipe it up, after first trying to get Ella do to it (who was more then happy to accept, she LOVES using the sponge) while I was out of the room to put my skirt in the laundry. Maya then told me, "But, I'm not going to say sorry!!" I said she didn't have to, but told her that kind of behavior was totally unacceptable, it's never okay to throw things because you're upset and next time she needed to use words.

We don't, and haven't ever really done timeouts, or other punishments for misbehavior like that. Nothing has ever seemed so bad to warrant it, and I'm not sure I feel comfortable with timeouts anyway. I really am stuck with this throwing thing, though. It seems like what we've been doing isn't making much difference. It's possible it is, and it's just a very slow process. But I'm not noticing the behavior lessening. I am open to suggestions and advice if anyone has any!

Some quotes from Maya this week:

"Sometimes when I buckle my bottom buckle in the bike trailer, it tickles my belly button hole, just like when I was born and I still had my umbilical cord."

"I like trucks a lot. Dump trucks, digger trucks, bulldozers trucks, and what I mostly like is ice cream." - First thing Maya said to me after a nap.

Maya enjoyed a shower this week, by herself for the first time! She stayed in there letting the water fill her cup and playing for about 10 minutes.  

Clipping Dada's nails.

I made a fun chart today to help the girls stay on track at bedtime. I got the idea from reading about schedules and daily rhythms. We used it tonight and they had a lot of fun! Both girls went through the bedtime steps mostly on their own, which was a nice change from pestering and reminding them to get ready.

Two charts, one on Ella's side of the bed, and one on Maya's.

It has magnets, to close each step as you go.

It's pretty fun actually. I may have to make one for me.

All done. Ready for bed!

Pacifier update

Maya and Ella have had their pacifiers back since Monday night, for sleep times only. It's been working out great. There is part of me that didn't like going back, simply because I don't like going back on things, but really, I have no regrets.

Playing together in the morning, tucking animals in.

Monday was one of the worst days we've had in a long time. The girls truly seemed unhappy. They were a mess. Their behavior was mean, unpredictable, and they were so, so, tried. Brett and I couldn't get ourselves to feel sure that we had made the right choice. As the day progressed, it became more and more clear that by taking away the pacifiers completely, we had done the wrong thing for our family. And by family, I'm not just talking about Maya and Ella; Brett and I were having a very hard time.

The motivation for taking the pacifiers away was mainly based on what the dentist said about Maya's teeth. But, the more that I read about pacifiers and their effect on teeth, the more I felt that we had made a hasty decision. The only other thing that bothered us about the girls still using pacifiers was that they would drop them around the house and try to talk while sucking on them. But, that part could easily be changed by limiting their use.

Sometimes I get excited about an idea and once it gets in my head, I just go for it without thinking it completely through. We hadn't really weighed all the possibilities of how this change could effect us. We talked about taking the pacifiers away a little before taking the plunge, but not enough to fully flush out the possible feelings we'd have, or the behavior changes we'd encounter in the girls. Turns out that it's very hard to feel right about a choice you've made when you don't feel sure it's the right thing to do.

When I told Brett that I thought we had done the wrong thing, it came out that he had already taken four of the pacifiers out and set them aside in case we changed our minds. I found two little boxes to keep the pacifiers in and at bedtime that night we told the girls that a few of the pacifiers had come back because the babies thought that Maya and Ella could still use them for sleep times. We went over the rules and everyone listened and agreed. Oh the joy and pure happiness that followed! As we went to get the boxes, Maya's first thought was, "I'm going to go get my doggie!!" followed by an excited dash for the living room to find her. And Ella wanted to know, "Did they send back the soft pacifier?" When she opened her box and found it in there, no words were needed for the answer. Just a head nod and a smile.

A few moments later, when we were snuggled up reading bedtime stories, Maya asked me, "How did the babies know that we still needed them?!" I said, "Well, they must be smart babies." Maya thought about that for a moment and then said, "I bet their Mamas' told them!" Ella just sucked on her pacifier behind a huge smile.

Most people that I spoke with about what we were going through these past few days, said that it would only be a rough couple of days, and then the pacifiers would be forgotten and things would go back to normal. Maybe they were right, but we'll never know for sure. I do know that we all do things differently and that there's no right way for everyone.  Sometimes you've just got to do what you feel is best. So, for now, the pacifiers stay. I'm sure the girls won't use them forever. In the meantime, I will try to remind myself that I’m meeting my daughters' needs for soothing now, and when they're ready, they'll move on.

Tuesday was one of the best days in a long time. The girls greeted us with smiles in the morning (pacifiers where left safely in their boxes) and everyone was so happy and nice to be around. I spent a long time swimming in the river by myself while the girls took a long nap. If nothing else, this whole experience really brought Brett and me closer together as partners and parents, which really is worth a lot.

The time I spent down by the water was mostly collecting sand from the middle of the river and bringing it over to our beach! It's so fun to have sand to dig in!

Taken down by the river.

There will still be hard times. On Wednesday morning Ella struggled with leaving pacifiers in her room, and Maya had a difficult moment later in the day when she went into her room and really wished she could have a pacifier. Brett and I stayed firm and the struggles were short-lived. I've been working on reminding the girls that it's okay to look forward to things that you can't have right now. That seems to help when they are upset.

And I feel much more able to deal with the girls being upset about only having the pacifiers for night and naps than I did about them being gone altogether. It's much easier to stay consistent about something that you feel strongly about.

The only worry that I still have is about Maya's teeth. She has such a strong suck (and always has) when she is using the pacifier, and that is likely what is contributing to the change in her teeth. Hopefully, going forward and using it only a little bit for night and nap time (it usually falls out of her mouth once she's asleep anyway) there won't be much more effect on her teeth.

A few other moments from this past week:

This groundhog made good work of our garden. Almost all of our broccoli was eaten, along with the tops of our carrots, some chard and a few Brussels sprout leaves.

Finding a way to play together when only one girl will fit in the boat at a time.

Ella and Dada swimming in the river.

Making pretend cakes.

And getting messy.

And cleaning up. 

We were happy to see Uncle Timmy again on Wednesday. 

We had a visit from Uncle Guy, too!

Maya on her bike.

Ella on her bike.